The Unexpected Couple
by Leftywrite
Summary: Ok.here's the deal. i started out with a very pg-13 fic, but then things happened when i wrote it out and it's not quite pg-13 anymore. it's not r. more like pg-15. read if you are mature enough to handle most sensitive issues. so you dont have to tell me
1. Percy's Chest and Cho's thoughts about i...

Disclaimer: no, I do not own any of the characters in this fic. And yes, I know that Percy Weasley and Cho Chang are not just one year apart.  
  
~Fic starts here~  
  
Cho Chang was VERY stressed. Yes, taking all those advanced classes was hell, but how else was she supposed to get into a good university? Besides. It made her mom happy. And her mom had precious little to be happy about lately. Hell, so did Cho.  
  
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It was the end of the first week of school. Cho decided to splurge and take a super long bath in the prefect's bathroom. She seriously needed to de-stress. God. What in heavens name had possessed McGonagall? She had given a test the FIRST day back. To "review". Hell, didn't everyone forget everything over the summer? Well, prolly everyone but Percy Weasley. God, the guy was perfect. Seriously. He got a freakin' 100 on that test. Who gets 100s on a back-to-school-test?  
  
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She grabbed her bathrobe and towel and headed for the prefect's bathroom. When she got there, she sighed in relief. Yes. She had gotten past Snape. God. The professor was the only one who really cared about students getting out of bed at night. Well, if he had caught her, she would have totally bowled him over. There was no stopping her when it came to getting a bath. She filled the bathtub with all the different types of bubble bath. As she took off her robe and slipped in, she sighed deeply as she closed her eyes. This was Pure Heaven.  
  
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Percy Weasley, prefect for Gryffindor, was very happy. School had started. And he had started. Wow. He had no idea how in Merlin's name he got a hundred on that back-to-school test in Advanced Transfiguration. Seriously. He had guessed on almost every single problem. He decided to reward himself by going to the prefect's bathroom.  
  
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Percy Weasley dodged quickly past Snape and headed to the bathroom with his bathrobe and his towel. Snape truly annoyed him. Why patrol after hours? Besides, he was a prefect. Prefects had authority. And how else were they supposed to use their bathroom? He dodged into the bathroom and took off his bathrobe. He secured his towel over his waist and walked toward the tub. He had taken his glasses off. He had taken a step in, when he realized there was water. What? The draining charm on the tub was faultless.Oh shit. There was already a person in here. An Asian female person. He had almost gotten into the prefect bathtub with Cho Chang.  
  
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Cho shrieked. Really loudly. "OH MY GOD. What the hell are you doing in here? Didn't you ever think to knock? What is your problem-oh. It's you Percy. I thought it was Fred or George at first." "Huh?" Percy was so confused. What would him being Fred or George have anything to do with anything? "Oh, well, umm, walking in on a girl in the bathroom is just the type of thing that they would do. That's all." "So, I wouldn't do that?" "Err, well you just did." "What? Oh shit. Sorry. I'll get out now. You were in here first and I aught to be going now-" "What? Oh, no, it's all right. Seriously. It's not like anyone can see through the bubbles, right?" Cho giggled nervously. God. Of all people to walk in on her. She looked up. Wait. Was this really Percy? WHOA. That was one hell of a chest that he hid under his robes. Yikes. And she thought Bill was the hottie of the family. Guess Bill had some competition. "Err, yeah. I was about to get out anyways. I was getting kinda pruny. So, umm, why don't you turn around and close your eyes while I get my towel and wrap it around me? Then I can leave and you can have the bath to yourself.Percy? Percy? Uh, did you hear me?" "What? Huh? Oh. Yeah. That's fine with me." He turned around and shut his eyes as he heard Cho get out and grab her towel. How emabarrasing. He stepped out of the bath and faced the opposite wall. He hadn't heard her at first. He had been too busy looking at her. Great Merlin. She was gorgeous. Her hair had been wet, and was hanging to the small of her back. Her eyes were a rich dark brown. And her mouth was a pouty, naturally dark red. No. He had SO not checked her out. NO. She was what? A year younger than him? And besides, not even Penelope liked him anymore. So why would a popular, gorgeous girl like Cho? "Umm, Percy, I'm covered now. You can turn around" Percy turned around. His eyes shot up to his hairline. She was wearing a dark blue towel wrapped around her tightly. He could make out her figure. WHOA. Covered? That was NOT covered. He so didn't have time for girls.he had to get good grades and end up as the Minister of Magic.but what if? "So." began Cho. Goodness. It was damn near impossible to have an intelligent conversation with a guy when you're dressed in a towel. Especially if the guy was only wearing a towel too.and even more especially if he had a superb chest. "So how did you get the hundred in McGonagall's class?" Oh shit.she sounded all snotty. Percy smiled. "I have no earthly idea.I guessed on every single one except the one that asked what the class was called." Cho giggled. So he was just lucky then. Ok. That made things much better. "I guess I better be going. I've got to work on my homework." Percy made shooing motions with his hands "By all means, don't let me keep you from the joys of Advanced Transfiguration.and not to mention Divination." "Oh yeah. That's right. I've got to predict my own death in that class.well, I'll see you tomorrow Percy.with more clothes" she looked down at her towel. "Umm, yeah. See you." Percy's cheeks blushed at the mention of her towel. "Bye!" Cho put her bathrobe over her towel and walked out of the bathroom. Had Percy Weasley just checked her out? Funny, but he never seemed like the checking-out kind. Not that she thought he was gay, or anything, but he seemed so reserved with girls. Sure, he opened doors and stuff for girls, but he never seemed to want to go further than a distant friendship. With anyone but Penelope Clearwater. But hadn't she dumped him? Oh yeah. She had. Something about him being a grade-obsessed prefect whose only wish was to be perfect, not to be close to her. Cho shook her head. Had she just been checking out Percy Weasley? Hello? This was the perfect guy. Didn't perfect guys annoy her? God. She was so going to have to calm down all those hormones. Even if Percy Weasley did have an extremely nice chest.  
  
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AN: yes, yes, Risquer, I PROMISE I am working on "Saga".just had this amazingly screwed up idea.and this is for all you Percy lovers.cuz I am one too. 


	2. We're Just 'Pubbing' Around

Disclaimer: I own absolutely none of the people in this fic. And I know that Percy and Cho are more than one year apart.  
  
~Fic Starts Here~  
  
She couldn't stop thinking about him. God. Well, who could blame her? He had walked in on her in the bathroom, for Merlin's sake. But she wasn't obsessing over that. Nope. She was obsessing over Percy Weasley's superb chest. God. Now she knew that he was perfect in every single way.  
  
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Percy was trying to stop mentally hitting himself. He couldn't help it. He was supposed to be ambitious. Hadn't Penelope dumped him because of that? He was supposed to be against all fraternizing with girls. Hell, he had almost succeeded. He would bet 10 galleons more than half the girls at Hogwarts thought that he had taken some type of abstinence vow or something. There was absolutely no way that he could ever be attracted to Cho Chang. Well, he wasn't SUPPOSED to be. Well, shit, he thought. I really got myself into trouble now. A crush on the popularity queen? This was so not good.  
  
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Cho walked into Advanced Transfiguration. She blushed as she saw Percy Weasley stare at her. God. All she could think about was that chest. What was he thinking? Umm, why would she care about what he was thinking? Hello, this was Percy Weasley. She did so NOT have a crush on the perfect prefect. Seriously. Oh well. She took a seat next to him. They seriously needed to talk. "Err, hi Percy" "Hi Cho" he blushed. She was so pretty. Those almond shaped eyes drove him near to distraction. Today she was wearing light blue eye shadow. That REALLY made her eyes look good. "So, how did your Divination homework go?" Good God. Why did he always have to sound so obsessed with school? "Oh, it went just fine. I predicted a death by old age. Not that Trelawney will like that. I think she wanted something more violent.what did you put for yours?" "Oh, err, I put that I would die because of over stress.at least my mom thinks I will" OK.thought Percy.way to brag about stress. Only morons bragged about stress. "Really? So does mine. Ironically though, she induces most of it." Cho nearly winced. God. She sounded stupid but smart. What was it with her and big words? And the stress thingie? Why did she have to blab about that? "Really? That's funny.my mom keeps telling me to take time off and relax a little.but I can't. I just don't want to slack off, you know? I'm afraid I might get into the habit of slacking off.and you know, flunk" Godammit. He sounded like a grade conscious freak. Hell, he was a grade conscious freak. His brain kept alternating images of someone smacking him and Cho in a towel. WHOA. Where the hell did that come from? He was blushing. Really blushing. Why? She liked the way he kept trying and trying. Sure, he might be a little extreme, but God. At least he was proud of it.unless he was blushing at the thought of last night? Oh god. That's right. She had been just wrapped up in a towel. Well, he had been too. Oh lord. Now she was blushing. Percy noticed a pink tinge appear on Cho's face. Why? Oh. Right. She was probably remembering last night. Well, she had been in a towel. Not that he minded. "Err, yeah. I'm truly sorry about walking in on you." Percy blushed even more. Was anybody listening to their conversation? "I should have knocked. Or I should have left immediately." He kept staring at her. Why hadn't he noticed her figure before? Probably because he had never looked at her before.and that outfit she was wearing under her robes.a cute little black skirt with a bell-sleeved wine-colored shirt. Wait.was he checking her out? Whoa. This was Percy Weasley. The guy who was all about grades.unless. "Umm, no, that's all right.hey, do you want to do something together? Unless you're busy with all that school stuff." "OF COURSE! I mean, umm, sure. What about the next Hogsmeade trip? It's tomorrow." "That'll be great! How about meeting at the Three Broomsticks?" "Yeah! See you there!" ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
The next day, Cho waited nervously near the Three Broomsticks. Did she look all right? She was wearing a pair of low-rise jeans with a black spaghetti strap tank top. Her mom would kill her if she saw Cho like this. Was her makeup fine? She checked with her pocket mirror to make sure she hadn't smudged her dark red lipstick. God. She absolutely could NOT get the image of Percy's chest out of her head. Wait, was that him? She waved and yelled "Percy! Over here!" instantly he turned and headed toward her. She blinked. Wow. He looked really good in that black long-sleeved shirt and those jeans. The pervert in her head whispered that he would look better WITHOUT a shirt, but she just ignored that. "Hey Cho!" Holy shit, she looked good. The black tank top totally suited her. "Hey, look! We match!" he gestured to her tank and his shirt.  
  
She laughed. He was so cute. "Yeah, we do! So do you want to go to the Three Broomsticks now, or do you just want to walk around first?" "Umm, how about we walk around? This is the first fresh air I've had in about a week." There he went again. Bragging about his stress.why did he do that? It's not like it was something to be proud of or anything. "Why? Oh, yeah, you don't play quidditch, do you? Not that that's a bad thing" she said quickly. O Lord. She had probably sounded like a total jerk. "Um, nope, I don't.you want to go to Honeydukes? Tell you what.to make up for bursting in on you, I'll buy you something" did he just say that? He just had to bring THAT up didn't he? Cho laughed. "Aw, you're so sweet. Sure." They walked into the sweet shop and searched for something good.  
  
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Cho was cracking up. They were in Three Broomsticks and Percy was showing her all these impressions that he could do. Seriously. He was good. Now Cho knew that Fred and George weren't the only funny ones in the family. His impression of Trelawney was great. He had the voice exactly right. "Ah, yes, when the North Star is as bright as Venus, it portends a death to a dark-haired boy with glasses." he whispered, gleefully, "and when the Big Dipper is higher than the Little Dipper.a death will surely fall that night." Cho giggled. He was so hilarious. What? Oh, Percy was launching into a McGonagall imitation. She laughed. Really had. Again. "Students, today we will learn the difference between a brain switch and a brain transfiguration." even Percy's face was good. He had his lips in the exact way McGonagall held them, and had even pulled his glasses down low on his nose. "Please.stop.I.can't breath.I'm.laughing.so.hard," gasped Cho "The brain switch is when the brain of an individual is switched with another person." continued Percy. He couldn't stop. It was so fun to make her laugh. Cho gave another shriek of laughter before tumbling completely out of the booth. She continued laughing on the floor, underneath the table. She stopped about five minutes later and sat up. "Need help getting up?" said Percy as he peered down "Yes, please. If I think about that impersonation, I think I might collapse again." she laughed. "Which one?" asked Percy, "the McGonagall one?" "Yes" "And a brain transfiguration is when you change, or transfigure the brain altogether." Cho collapsed again. O lord. She was already feeling sore. And he probably thought she was the biggest loser ever. Percy helped her up. Wow. She was light. Suddenly, a highly improper and wicked thought came to his head. But he couldn't stop himself.he grabbed her waist and started tickling her like mad. He couldn't help it. Well, he probably could, but he didn't want to. Why was he doing it in the middle of a pub, for God's sake? Cho collapsed into his arms. How the hell did he guess she was VERY ticklish? She grabbed his shoulders for support.then his neck.then his face. What was she doing? This was Percy Weasley for Merlin's sake. She was so NOT about to kiss him in the middle of Three Broomsticks.hell, who was she kidding? Of COURSE she was going to kiss him.he was the most perfect guy ever. Percy slowly stopped tickling her when he noticed her face. What was she doing? She looked all serious. Whoa. Her hands were on the side of his face.wait. Was she-no. Who would be that desperate? But, if she could stand being this close to him.with his arms wrapped around her waist and everything, maybe, oh, to hell with maybes. He pulled Cho closer and placed his mouth onto hers.  
  
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HOLY SHIT. Percy Weasley could kiss. Hello? Penelope? What was your problem? Didn't care about you? If the guy kissed you like this, why in Ptolemy's name did you think that? OOH.he was so WARM. Who cared if they were in the middle of a very populated pub. Percy was in heaven. Absolute heaven. Kissing this girl was the absolute best thing he had ever done. Penelope who? Cho was totally intoxicating. He pulled her closer as one of his arms edged towards the small of her back. The other one started moving higher, and stopped when it got to her neck.like his mouth was. Neither Cho nor Percy noticed all the stares directed towards them. Suddenly, Harry, Ron, and Hermione all walked in. Harry just stopped. Ron just stopped and stared. Hermione stopped, stared, and slapped Harry and Ron for stopping and staring for so long. Finally, Ron got his voice. "Percy!?!?! What the bloody hell are you doing?" Percy jumped. Oh lord. Of all people to say that, it had to be Ron. Seriously. Ron was the only person who would say something like that. "Ron, what does it look like I'm doing? I was snogging Cho. What did it look like I was doing? Playing cards?" Cho blushed at that. He was so very DIFFERENT from what she thought he was. He even looked sexy in that black shirt. But then, she thought he looked sexy in everything since the night of the bathroom thingie. Ron gaped at Percy for that one. "Umm, Percy, are you all right? You haven't had too much butter beer have you?" "No Ron, I have not had too much butter beer. And yes, I am quite all right. Much better than I was, actually. Now if you will excuse us.Cho and I will be leaving now.if that's all right with you, Cho." "Oh, quite all right Percy" "Let's go then" Percy and Cho exited the pub, hand in hand, to the surprise of everyone in Three Broomsticks. "Well," said Ron, "That's something you don't see everyday. Percy with an actual, real live, honest to God, genuine girl. I thought he would never get to the program" Hermione smacked him. Again.  
  
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Two words: Review me. 


	3. The notsoghost of girlfriend past

Disclaimer: yes, I know, I do not own any of the characters in this fic. And I also know that Percy and Cho are not just one year apart.  
  
~Fic Starts Here~  
  
Percy and Cho were strolling down Hogsmeade-much to the stares of everyone. Was that PERCY? With a GIRL? Percy grinned. He loved the expression on their faces.  
  
"So, ummm." began Percy. Ptolemy, he sounded like a dolt. Why did that always happen? "So, err, you don't have to stick around me if you don't want to." hell, who was he kidding? Why in Merlin's name would Cho want to be stuck with him? He looked down at her, expecting to see a smile of relief. Instead, she just looked confused.  
  
"Why? Do you not want a girlfriend, or something?" was he trying to get rid of her? Had she just imagined him checking her out? But he had started that kiss.  
  
"What? Oh heavens, no.I just didn't know if you wanted to be seen with, I don't know, the grade-obsessed freak."  
  
Cho blushed. So he HAD heard some of the names people called him. "Merlin, no, Percy! I LIKI that you're a grade-obsessed freak.sometimes it gets a little extreme, but gods above, at least you care. Some guys don't.and you're not JUST a grade-obsessed freak either" Cho blushed. She was all babble-y again.  
  
"Oh?" Percy looked surprised. What else did he do besides grades?  
  
"You're a remarkable comic, a sweet guy, and I REALLY like your chest." Cho turned bright red. She had so NOT just said that.  
  
Percy blushed. Well. He hadn't expected THAT. He guessed lifting all his books everywhere had something to do with it. He placed an arm around Cho's waist and pulled in so that she faced him. She looked up at Percy.  
  
"Percy?"  
  
"You didn't say anything about how I kissed."  
  
"OH!" Cho gasped and grabbed his face and firmly planted her lips on his mouth. Well. He probably not only thought she was a hormonally- charged freak, he probably thought she was an out-of-control hormonally- charged freak. But.but.what was this? He was actually pulling her TIGHTER? WHAT? OOH.he felt so, so DELICIOUS right now.  
  
Percy was not only kissing back, he was kissing back with his tongue. Well. Whenever he had kissed Penelope, she always squirmed away. Cho was doing just the opposite. She was pulling closer to Percy and arching her back. She gasped as his lips found her pulse point. He moved farther down. His lips were at the base of her neck, in between her collarbone and her shoulders, when someone screamed. Loudly.  
  
"PERCY OCTAVIAN WEASLEY!! JUST WHAT DO YOU THING YOU WERE DOING?!"  
  
Percy slowly removed his lips from Cho's throat. He looked up. Oh. "Oh, hello Penelope. How are you doing today?"  
  
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Penelope Clearwater stared at her ex-boyfriend with a look that would have melted pewter. How DARE he? Sure, she had broken up with him, but how DARE he? He was supposed to be all heartbroken for AT LEAST a month! It had been THREE DAYS! THREE, FREAKIN' DAMN DAYS! That was only 72 HOURS!!!  
  
Percy looked at his ex-girlfriend with a smirk. She looked about to boil. He raised an eyebrow. And THIS was the girl who had called him an obsessive freak? He was about to laugh, but swallowed his chuckle. No. That would be too cruel.  
  
"Percy Weasley" hissed Penelope, her eyes slits, "we need to talk. Alone." She cast another deadly glare towards Cho. How DARE her! Percy was PENELOPE'S! How dare that Chinese bimbo think she could steal Percy!  
  
Percy raised his eyebrow again. "OK.Cho?" he purred her name. He REALLY wanted to pay back Pen.  
  
"Yes, Percy?" Cho purred back huskily, giving him a seductive look under her eyelashes. She almost giggled and ruined the whole thing. He was so good. She SO wanted Penelope Clearwater to regret her decision about dumping Percy. She gave him another sultry look before he said (well purred, really) "Wait for me here, luv, we have some unfinished business, eh?" She blinked. She had no idea he could sound that sexy. Percy bent down and whispered in her ear, "I know she's a total pill, but let me get my fun. I need to get her even madder."  
  
Cho nodded and sent him a VERY hormonally charged smile. She was about to burst with laughter. He had made it look like he was licking her ear, not whispering. She chanced a look at Penelope. Whoa. Penelope looked like she was ready to strangle Cho. Cho smirked at her and mouthed the words "he's mine" before turning around and walking (very sexily) towards a bench to sit down.  
  
Penelope gave a spasm of anger and grabbed Percy's arm and dragged him off to a more private place (i.e., an alley).  
  
She cornered him against the stonewall of the Three Broomsticks. "Percy Weasley. I cannot BELIEVE you. You BASTARD. You were supposed to WAIT at LEAST A MONTH before going out with anyone, if you went out with anyone AT ALL. YOU-YOU-YOU I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU!!!!"  
  
Percy folded his arms across his chest and raised his eyebrow (an: yet again. I know. But Percy's eyebrow is gonna get a serious workout in this chapter.). "Honestly, Penelope, I don't even know why you care. Didn't you dump me?" he said coolly.  
  
"WHY DO I CARE???? WHY DO I CARE?!" screeched Penelope, "I CARE WHEN YOU'RE WITH AN ASIAN BIMBO-"  
  
"Watch how you talk about my Cho," he growled  
  
"I CARE" she went on like he hadn't said anything, "I CARE BECAUSE YOU'RE MY-"  
  
"Ex-boyfriend? See? Told you. You have nothing to worry about." He started to walk away, but not before patting Penelope on the head as one might do to calm a mad dog.  
  
"OH YOU!!!!!! DON'T EXPECT ME TO TALK TO YOU EVER AGAIN, PERCY WEASLEY!"  
  
Percy looked at her. What had he seen in her? Seriously. She looked like a wounded, curly-haired, bright pink, VERY INDIGNANT elephant. "Is that supposed to be a punishment?" he asked.  
  
She turned even pinker.  
  
"Cheers Penelope." He waved good-bye and headed off to Cho.  
  
"ARGH!!!" Penelope stalked (even more like an elephant, thought Percy) after Percy and grabbed him, and kissed him. Or tried to. He kind of put his hands in front of his face. Those lips had scared him nearly to death.  
  
"Just what the HELL do you think you're doing?" said Cho, as she walked over, "assaulting my boyfriend like that?"  
  
Penelope froze in mid-smooch. Her lips were all pushed out. He face was all lean-y. And she was aiming for-Percy's hands? What?  
  
"Err, yeah. If he wasn't scared of you before, he's prolly scared of you now. Those lips. Tsk tsk" Cho clicked her tongue against her teeth, "Yeah. They probably did him in."  
  
Percy peeked from behind his hands. And promptly started cracking up. He couldn't help it. She looked like a kissing gourami. (an: that's a pet fish that has abnormally large lips that move in and out when it breaths. Like it's kissing the water.).  
  
"What?" had Percy lost his mind? This was her most alluring position. She was SO gonna steal Percy from Cho.  
  
"Oh.you.looked.just.like.a.kissing.gourami.right.now." gasped Percy.  
  
Penelope turned an even brighter shade of pink and slapped Percy. Hard.  
  
"OW!"  
  
"And THAT was for cheating on me!" Penelope shrieked as she stalked away.  
  
Percy looked blankly at her retreating back. HUH?  
  
Cho got it, though. "HEY PENELOPE!" she yelled, "It's kinda impossible for a guy to cheat on you once you've dumped him!!!"  
  
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Is anyone reading this fic? Besides my wonderful sister? Well, no matter who you are, please review this. I totally don't care if you flame it. Cuz I have no earthly idea on how the 'public' feels about this fic. 


	4. The true bitchiness of Penelope Clearwat...

Disclaimer: I own none of the characters in this fic.and I KNOW that Cho and Percy are way more than one year apart.so sue me. It's my fic.  
  
~Fic Starts here~  
  
Cho was incredibly happy. Hello? Since when did life get better than this? Percy Weasley was her boyfriend, she was on the quidditch team, Penelope Clearwater had gotten a slap in the face, and she was getting full marks in school because of her marvelous boyfriend. Yes, yes, he was her tutor. Kind of. Not that Cho NEEDED a tutor, but oh well. The PROFESSORS didn't know that. Just like they didn't know that Cho was Percy's girlfriend. Hello? Like who did? It wasn't like Penelope was going to blabber around to the whole school that Percy had gone out with another girl after only three days.right?  
  
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Penelope Clearwater was PISSED. Like mondo, mega, about-to-destruct- the-world pissed. Because Percy Weasley had gone and dated some popular queen THREE DAYS after she had dumped him. ARGH. There were some things in life that were totally unforgivable. And this was one of them. She was SO totally going to give him a run for his life. And she knew just how.  
  
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Cho and Percy walked into Advanced Transfiguration together. The rest of the class had gotten used to them sitting together. They all thought it was because of Percy 'tutoring' Cho. Little did they know. Suddenly, Penelope Clearwater walked into the room. Actually, she kinda swayed. She had smeared her mascara so that it looked like she had cried loads and her hair was a mess. She had a bright red nose and her eyes were all swollen. Her clothes had the look of a tornado. And she was sobbing.  
  
Percy looked up. Oh lord. Here we go again, he thought. Another session with the soap-opera drama queen.  
  
Penelope chanced a look at Percy. She was annoyed. Instead of looking guilty or concerned, he looked fed up. Well, she would show him. And that girlfriend of his. She started sobbing even more. Finally, Oliver Wood asked her what was wrong. She was thrilled. He was the BEST person to ask her. Everyone paid attention to Oliver. She sobbed again. "Oh Oliver, it's really nothing" sob, sob, "I'm OK. Really." She gave him a watery look.  
  
"Err, are you sure?"  
  
"No."  
  
"Well, what's wrong then?"  
  
"Oh, Oliver, do you think I'm ugly?" (Percy snorted at this. He felt sorry for Oliver. The poor guy was trapped.)  
  
"Umm, no. Actually, you're quite pretty."  
  
"Oh THANK you Oliver.see, I wasn't sure, because, because." she gave another sob.  
  
"Because why, Penelope?"  
  
"Because Percy Weasley just dumped me for Cho Chang."  
  
A gasp went through the room. Hadn't it been the other way?  
  
"And he's already had sex with her. Apparently when we were going out."  
  
Another huge gasp went through the class.  
  
Percy Weasley jumped up. He was sick and tired of all this. He was going to show her. "PENELOPE CLEARWATER!!" he yelled, "I have NEVER heard such a HUGE lie in my entire life. You dumped me, remember? And you got on my case for asking Cho out. And you're the one who called me an obsessive freak. Look at you. Trying to kill Cho's reputation as well as mine! Why EVERYONE knows about Cho's abstinence vow right? She's vowed with her church to wait till marriage."  
  
Everyone nodded at that. That was why Cho had broken up with her past two boyfriends. They had both tried to force her to have sex.  
  
Penelope snorted at that one. "Percy? Hello? This is the original Chinese SLUT here."  
  
Cho gasped at that. She walked over to Penelope and started yelling. And that wasn't all she was going to do. She was SO going to pull out her kung-fu on this bitch. "YOU BITCH! I AM NOT A SLUT! I AM A VIRGIN! EVERYONE KNOWS THAT!"  
  
Penelope smirked at that one. Her? A virgin? Yeah, so she TOLD people that. But really. Come on. "I'm sure that's true, Cho."  
  
Cho had had enough. She pulled back her left hand and punched Penelope right in the jaw. Penelope looked shocked and smug. Now she REALLY had something to hold against Cho. "Violence is not the answer, Slut," she said smugly.  
  
"Oh yes it is!" cried Cho. She had angry tears running down her cheek. "If you ever call me a slut again, you are so gonna regret that you were born. Bitch." She stormed off. Just as McGonagall walked in.  
  
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Cho ran out of class, crying. Penelope was such a witch with a b. How dare she? She was the virgin of the class. Everyone knew that. HOW DARE Penelope call her a slut. She heard footsteps behind her. But she didn't care.  
  
"Cho! Wait!"  
  
Cho wheeled around. It was Percy. Her own sweet Percy. Who probably believed what Penelope had said about her being a slut. Hell, so did half the class. "What? Want to set up a date for us to fuck? Hell Percy, I'd think you were above all that gossip shit."  
  
Percy gaped. Cho? Cussing? WHOA. "Um, no. Actually, I wanted you to know that I think Penelope's a world-class bitch too. And that I still want to date you. And that I should have stood up for you."  
  
Cho smiled sweetly. "You did Percy."  
  
"What?"  
  
"You told Penelope off. And that's what hurt her the most."  
  
Percy blushed. "So, do you want to go somewhere private? Like the Library? It's time for our 'tutoring session' you know"  
  
Cho blushed. How could she have lived before Percy? "Of course. I need some more information on the kissing habits of male Hogwarts prefects."  
  
Percy blushed. He STILL wasn't used to a girlfriend that liked him.  
  
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REVIEW!!! PLEASE!!!! I NEED TO KNOW IF PEOPLE ACTUALLY READ THIS!!! 


	5. The bathroom thing AGAIN

Disclaimer: I own none of the characters in this fic.and I KNOW that Percy and Cho are way more than a year apart.but it's MY FIC OK? So there.  
  
~Fic Starts Here~  
  
Percy and Cho were in the library, 'talking'. Actually, Percy's mouth was currently on Cho's neck.so it was kind of impossible for them to talk. But they HAD been talking. For at least five minutes.  
  
Suddenly, Fred, George, Harry, Hermione, and Ron walked in. And promptly started staring. Again. After about five minutes, Fred found his voice.  
  
"Bloody hell! It's Percy! With a girl!!!"  
  
"I don't believe it. He's actually attached himself to a girls neck, and she's not screaming in horror," replied George, "this is a once and a lifetime view, eh Fred?"  
  
"Quite. Though I might be dying right now. The sight of Percy necking is quite traumatizing"  
  
Percy looked up. And sighed. Of all the total nincompoops that had to walk in, it had to be Fred and George. "Shut up" he replied.  
  
"Well, it is Percy," said a 'shocked' Fred, "and who is it with him? Penelope Clea-HOLY SHIT. It's Cho Chang!"  
  
Hermione looked up from the book she was reading. Oh lord. Here they go again. What is it with boys and teasing about snogging? She shook her head and went back to her ten-pound book.  
  
Ron was gawking again. His mouth was all open like a fish, and his eyes were bugging out in an even fishier way. "P-Percy? Is that YOU? Snogging a GIRL?"  
  
"Well, Ron, who did you think it was? Professor Snape? And yes, I quite assure you, Cho is a person of the female gender. Despite what you might think about my sexual orientation." Cho squeaked at that one. And she was turning bright red too.  
  
"Oh, hello, Cho darling," said George, "do you need some assistance? I'm sure Percy's mouth was annoying you.you might get a rash from that one's mouth." Cho squeaked again. Then promptly pulled herself together. They were so NOT going to be picking on Percy. "Oh, no, George, I quite assure you, his mouth has a quite soothing effect on my nerves. And I know by now that I don't get rashes from Percy's neck."  
  
Harry gawked at that one. SO they had kissed? More than the time in Three Broomsticks and here? When? How? How could she STAND kissing Percy? He shuddered at the thought.  
  
"What's the matter Harry? Don't like the idea of me kissing Percy?"  
  
"NO. I just don't like the idea of anything kissing Percy altogether."  
  
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It was their one-week anniversary. Penelope had backed off, after being threatened by Fred, George, Percy, Oliver Wood, and Harry. She had learned her lesson. Cho had agreed to meet Percy after-hours at the Gryffindor common room. She decided to take a bath first, just to make sure she looked her best.  
  
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She grabbed the clothes she was going to wear, her towel, and her shampoo and headed for the prefects bathroom. Dodging quickly past Snape, she uttered the password and slipped into the bathroom. (an: getting dejá vu? You should be ;p) She had taken off her shirt and her skirt (i.e., she was down to her bra and panties) when someone in the tub spoke up.  
  
"Bursting in on me, now, eh?"  
  
Cho whirled around. "PERCY?!"  
  
"That would be me, luv"  
  
"But, but, I'm not dressed!"  
  
"Well, what a coincidence. Neither am I."  
  
"I-I-I really should leave now."  
  
"You know, I'm getting the strangest sense of déjà vu." Smirked Percy, "If I recall, the last time this happened, we both emerged with just towels wrapped around us."  
  
Cho turned bright red. "Percy Weasley."  
  
"Yes?"  
  
"Don't tempt me."  
  
"Tempt you to do what?"  
  
"Tempt me to get into that tub with you and smack you around the head."  
  
"Well, I don't know about the smacking part, but I myself would quite enjoy the getting into the tub part."  
  
"OH! YOU!!" Cho stalked over and slapped Percy. Percy grabbed her arm at the last minute, causing her to lose her balance and tumble into the tub. After she surfaced and wiped her eyes, Cho looked meanly at Percy and smacked him. Right before she climbed right beside him and started making out with him. Still in her bra and panties. Percy put one arm around her. He was definitely enjoying having Cho as a girlfriend.  
  
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AN: OK, you know in my summary how I said that a mature 11 year old could handle this? Screw that. And no, Cho did NOT break her virginity vow. OK? Deal with me here. This IS a pg-13 fic. 


	6. As Romancy As it gets caution most of th...

Disclaimer: I own absolutely none of the characters in this fic. And I know that Cho and Percy are WAY WAY WAY more than a year apart. So there.  
  
~Fic starts here~  
  
Percy pulled away from Cho for a minute. She looked up from her position on his chest, confused. Had she done something wrong? He had SEEMED like he was enjoying it. Hell, that hand on her ass TOLD her he was enjoying it. "Did I do something wrong?" she asked, worriedly.  
  
"Hell no! I, um, I just wanted to know a couple of things, you know, about you, before, I, err, you know, accidentally lose control and ravish you"  
  
Cho raised an eyebrow on that. "Are you so sure that you're going to lose control?"  
  
"Hell yeah."  
  
"Well, for one thing, I want to become a singer."  
  
"WHAT?"  
  
"Never heard me sing?"  
  
"No."  
  
"Well you can, after you finish ravishing me."  
  
Percy grinned. Let the ravishing begin. (an: ravishing NOT in the pervert, bodice-ripping, undies tearing, crap romance novel sort of way. PLEASE. I mean COME ON. Fanfiction.net would totally trash this fic before you could say 'sex'. So yeah. No abstinence breaking. And sorry this an is so long)  
  
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Cho looked up from the bathtub, content. Well. She had gotten a totally fulfilling experience, and she still had her underwear on. DAMN. Percy Weasley was a first-class snogger. Like he had a masters in snogging or something. She wondered where he had LEARNED to kiss like that. Surely, you couldn't just be that good NATURALLY. She turned around in the tub, snuggling on his chest. He growled good-naturedly. She sighed. He was so comfy. In a manly, muscled sort of way. "So . wanna hear me sing sometime?"  
  
"Yeah."  
  
"When?"  
  
"Now."  
  
"OK." She snuggled closer to his chest and started to sing, softly.  
  
"Sing up, Cho. Can't hear what you're singing. Or it may be that I'm so distracted by the vibrations caused by your larynx on my chest."  
  
She blushed and started to sing louder. Her rich, golden voice filled the prefect's bathroom and bounced off the tiled walls. The acoustics were perfect. (an: for all you people who sing in the b-room, you know what I'm talking about. If you don't vocalize yourself in the necessary room, try it. Seriously. The acoustics in the bathroom are prolly the best in your whole house. And I will stop now.).  
  
"Cuz I'm tired, and I'm scared, but I've got to survive, cuz baby, I've gotta tell ya, I'm still alive."  
  
Percy grinned. Her voice sounded gorgeous. Hell, she looked gorgeous. All laying down on his chest in only her bra and panty. She had everything for success: looks, voice, talent, everything. "That sounded good . I've never heard it before . who did it?"  
  
"Umm . me."  
  
Percy gaped. She had made that up? That gorgeous little ditty? Whoa. "Is there more?"  
  
"Sure." She paused for a second and began again. "You used me, abused me, and what did you get? Sorry hun, but I'm not dead yet . cuz I'm tired, and I'm scared, but I've got to survive, cuz baby I've got to tell you, I'm still alive."  
  
After all the echoing had stopped, Percy had a funny thought. And he didn't like it. "Umm, Cho?"  
  
"Yes?"  
  
"Did the lyrics come from any personal experience?"  
  
"Yeah."  
  
"Who?"  
  
"Oliver Wood."  
  
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AN: YES, YES I KNOW!!!! This chapter is way short. But I had to fit this in SOMEWHERE. As for the song, yes, that is all mine. Ya hear? Copyright of Leftywrite? OK? I already composed the tune. And have a couple verses. So there. No stealing. OK? Trust me. I'll find out and sue you. Hahaha!! No, seriously. Please. Don't. that would be just plain me and stupid. Stealing someone else's creative smoothie. (get it? Creative juices? Make a creative smoothie? Oh, never mind. Leave me be.). so yeah. And I will update it. And for all ya'll hormone-charged people that love saga and want more of that bodice-ripping, panty-tearing junk, yeah. I MIGHT just put that in. Kinda infuse the whole dry-sarcasm things with the hormone-babbling things. If you want. Just email me your review of the whole thing. Thanx to the anonymous person who did. At least ONE person is telling me what they want. I mean, come ON people. No offense, I totally love you all, but goodness. You remember that little line on the review-maker thingie? A good review tells the author what to improve? Or something like that? It really does. So PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE review this. And sorry for the long-winded notes. ;p 


	7. Bruises form on EVERYBODY

Disclaimer: I own absolutely none of the characters in this fic, and I ALSO know that Cho and Percy are way more than one year apart. So sue me.  
  
AN: I'm gonna have to start putting all my notes at the beginning-it's much easier. Yes, thank you all for reviewing me-Carter, dear; yours didn't get through to my email-please try to review me again. I love getting reviews. It's the highlight of my life. Well, not really, but it's one of them. The other is Carter . YES I'M JOKING CARTER YOU KNOW I JUST SAID THAT TO ANNOY YOU AND ANYONE ELSE THAT KNOWS YOU!!! Ack! You are SO NOT going to take that seriously. SO THERE!!! AH! Can't people take a joke? Oh well. Just shut me up anytime now. And when you review me, either flame me or tell me what you liked or just be all enthusiastic. I don't care. Just don't go 'nice fic' as a review. That is not a review. Anyone can say 'nice review' but not everyone has the guts to tell me they drool every time they think of Oliver Wood or Percy Weasley. (*wink* that was for the ninth host of dax-ezri, cuz I drool too. Or maybe I just go off into space and sigh . *sigh*). Sorry, but Oliver looks really, really bad in this part of the fic. But yeah. Anyways .  
  
~Fic starts here~  
  
"WHAT????" yelled Percy, "Oliver WOOD?"  
  
"Err, yeah. Know any other Olivers?"  
  
"You went out with HIM?"  
  
"Umm, yeah. Total jerk-faced son-of-a-bitch."  
  
"And your song is based on HIM?"  
  
"His verbal abuse."  
  
"Why?"  
  
"My no-sex-until-marriage thingie."  
  
"Oh."  
  
"Yeah . so you want to go somewhere? I don't know about you, but I'm getting kind of uncomfortable in this bra. Wet lace itches."  
  
"Err . sure. And if we meet Oliver anywhere, I'll personally pound him for you."  
  
Cho grinned at that one. Percy Weasley? Pound Oliver Wood? She was SO going to enjoy this.  
  
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Cho changed clothes when Percy turned his back. She did the same thing for him. She didn't want to rush at him like Penelope did. Seriously. Just the sight of that CHEST was enough for her to feel all faint. It was GORGEOUS. Of course, Oliver's had been too, but you could tell Oliver was all proud and stuff about his chest. Percy didn't even realize what a hottie he was. Which was part of his charm. That and his sweetness.  
  
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They had the bad luck of running into Penelope on the way out. She caught them sneaking out of the bathroom together. Her eyebrows jumped all the way to her hairline.  
  
"HOLY SHIT!"  
  
"Oh. It's YOU Penelope." Yawned Percy. Olympian Gods, wasn't during class enough?  
  
"Ooh Percy, enjoying a little bathroom fuck with your new Asian whore, here? How much did you have to pay her to even go NEAR you? And since when do you have that kind of money?" Penelope smirked. He started hitting her, she started yelling. And Snape would come.  
  
"Why you little pathetic bitch!" hissed Cho, "I would never! And you know it! Everyone knows that's why I broke up with Oliver!!! And me, a whore? Stop calling me that. Are you looking for a person to work with? Because I was pretty damn sure you were working for Oliver around the time you 'broke down' in Transfiguration."  
  
"I WAS NOT!! I AM NOT!! I NEVER DID!!!" yelled Penelope  
  
"Really? I thought that was why he called you pretty. Because he didn't want to lose such valuable . property." Cho smirked. She wanted a bitchiness fight, she would GET a bitchiness fight.  
  
"You little Asian BIMBO! At least I don't have to grab up a depressed guy for him to go out with me!"  
  
"At least I don't have to assault my ex-boyfriend with my lips to get a kiss."  
  
"WHAT? I DID NOT!!!!"  
  
"Really? Percy sure thinks that way."  
  
"Why you little-why you little NINCOMPOOP!!!"  
  
Cho smirked. Nincompoop? Since when was she supposed to be mad at a name like that? "Nincompoop, Penny? You're losin' your touch, if you ask me"  
  
"ARGH!!!" growled Penelope as she strode over and grabbed-Percy? She mooshed her lips so hard against his, Percy could feel bruises forming.  
  
"OW! Penelope, GET OFF ME!"  
  
"What's wrong Percy? I'm sure you got more . bruises and ah, sore spots from what you did with Cho here ."  
  
"WHY YOU LITTLE!" shrieked Cho as she walked over and punched Penelope in the face. Penelope hadn't expected that and Cho's punch knocked her over backwards.  
  
The next thing they knew, Oliver Wood was walking around the corner.  
  
"Sorry, heard a noise that sounded like Penelope shrieking-," murmured Oliver. "Oh! Yes! I KNEW it was her! Something wrong Penny darling?"  
  
"Oliver! I am on the ground, I can't move one side of my cheek because Cho punched me" (here Percy couldn't help thinking, but she can still move her mouth) "and I just found my trauma-causing ex climbing out of the prefect's bathroom with Cho Chang."  
  
"What? Oliver yelled, throwing himself at Cho, "you punch my girlfriend, bitch?"  
  
Cho couldn't breath. His hands were around her throat, cutting off her airway. "Oliver . get . off . me . I . can't . breath ."  
  
"You should have thought about what was going to happen to you if you punched Penelope, you slut. You, a virgin? Yeah, whatever. I didn't lay you cuz I was so repelled by you then. Now, I don't know . will you struggle THIS time?"  
  
Cho really started struggling then.  
  
Percy gaped at Oliver. Was he crazy? "Oliver, what in hell are you doing?"  
  
"Well, buddy, looks like I'm about to rape your girlfriend, seeing how good she looks when she struggles. Unless, you in for a group rape? So she won't struggle?"  
  
"YOU ASSHOLE!" yelled Percy, "PETRIFICUS TOTALUS!!!" Oliver Wood dropped off of Cho in a full body bind. "YOU SON OF A FUCKING BITCH! YOU ABSOLUTE, BLOODY BASTARD!! JUST BECAUSE YOU HAVE TO FORCE YOURSELF ONTO CHO DOESN'T MEAN THAT IT'S RIGHT!!!!"  
  
Oliver's eyes were the only things that he could move. He was looking rather nervously at Percy. OK. He was probably in some serious hippogriff shit right now.  
  
"NO ONE ATTACKS CHO! GOT THAT? NO ONE!!" Oliver's eyes were looking VERY nervously at Percy. Was Percy going to kill him?  
  
"I ought to kill you right now-"  
  
Oliver's eyes jerked at that one.  
  
"-But it's against the law. But so is rape. Instead, I might as well punch you-" he sent a powerful right hook at Oliver's jaw, "-kick you- " he slammed his foot into the area right under Oliver's left knee, "-and do it again for good measure-" he sent another punch at Oliver's jaw and another foot slamming into Oliver's knee. "-just to demonstrate how highly stupid it is to go around attempting to rape my girl. So I'm gonna leave you out here in the cold. OK? For the rest of the night. Don't worry. There's still heat coming from the bathroom. And the Bloody Baron might not come around-" (Oliver paled at the thought) "and you are about as comfortable as you will ever get, stuck on the ground of a castle, petrified. So I suggest you start thinking about WHY you're stuck on the ground of a castle, petrified, eh?"  
  
Percy took Cho's face in his hand and turned it to look at the bruises that were already forming around the middle of her neck. She had tears streaming down her cheeks. "Sh, sh, Cho. It'll be OK. I'll make sure he'll never hurt you again."  
  
"It's not that."  
  
"No?"  
  
"I'm crying for happiness, because I've finally found a guy as sweet and as perfect as you."  
  
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AN: too graphic for you? Review me and tell me if you think it's an r thing. So yeah. And sorry to all you Oliver lovers. He had to be bad in this one. In my OTHER one he's a goody. And he goes out with Ginny Weasley. So read that one. And review!!!! 


	8. People Heal

Disclaimer: I own none of the characters in this fic, and yeah, me being the total Harry-maniac that I am I know that Percy and Cho are way more than a year apart. But the total purpose of a fic is to make things like you want them, all right? At least I think it is.  
  
~Fic Starts Here~  
  
Cho was being held by Percy. She didn't mind. She was content as it was to be so secure and safe in his muscular arms. She sighed and cuddled closer. They were in the Gryffindor common room. He was sitting in a huge red, squashy easy chair, and she was in his lap. It felt more like he was being a big brother rather than her boyfriend, but she really didn't care. She was still giving off an occasional tear and teensy sob. She couldn't shake the feeling of how very close that had been. If Percy hadn't stood up for her, or if he hadn't been there, or if he had agreed with Oliver, she could be dead or worse by now. Her stomach felt like it was filled with cold lead. She needed comfort.  
  
Percy could sense her need. He pulled her closer. Of course, if anyone happened to look at them right now, they might think more was going on than comforting, but he wouldn't think about that right now. He felt so awful that he had let Oliver go even that far. Cho was still crying. If he had just stopped Oliver and taken that punch he threw at Cho, then she would definitely NOT have been crying now. "Cho, I'm sorry, I shouldn't have let him go that far-"  
  
"What? Oh Percy, it's not your fault AT ALL."  
  
"No, I could have prevented all your bruises and-"  
  
"And Oliver would have just come at me a different time, when you weren't there. Believe me. This way, he is NOT going to come after me. You DID severely whip his ass. Just him being petrified for the whole night will be enough."  
  
"But-"  
  
"No buts, Percy."  
  
"Let me finish. I could have taken that punch of his, and you wouldn't be all bruised up, and-"  
  
"And then you and I wouldn't be able to do this." Cho leaned up and softly pressed her mouth onto his lips. He responded gratefully. They both needed to calm down and relax.  
  
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Cho was right about Oliver. He was exceedingly freaked out. The Bloody Baron had been around twice. He was freezing, even with the warm draft of air that was coming through the prefect's bathroom. His bruises had started to really hurt. He definitely needed medical attention, with his face all purple and his knee all black. But there was no way he could get it. Even if he had managed to get de-petrified, he would have to explain to Pomfrey why he was hurt. And what could he say? Percy Weasley beat me up? They would never believe that. And even if they did, they would bring Weasley in to question him, and Weasley would tell them about his attempt to rape Cho. He would have growled in frustration, but he couldn't move his vocal cords. He was resigned to never mess with Cho ever again and to seriously reconsider dating Penelope.  
  
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Penelope was shocked. Oliver Wood had almost raped Cho. She had no idea he could be that vicious. Sure, he had said it was to revenge Penelope, but what kind of revenge was rape? There was no way she could gloat about that. And if he wanted to be all sexual about someone, it should be her, not Cho. After all, she WAS his girlfriend. Was Oliver all he was cracked up to be? After all, she wasn't so sure she wanted to date a guy who would rape a girl, no matter who the girl was. And no matter what the girl had done to her. Penelope sighed. All this for Percy Weasley? Was he really worth all this drama and all these tears? And an attempted rape? She had probably destroyed enough lives by now. She resolved to drop the whole matter and not destroy anyone's life anymore anymore. Life was too precious. This moment was too precious. And the past was worth something, but it was not worth forsaking the future. Even the futures of others. She had at least learned that much from her little vengeful escapade. And she vowed to never do that again. For her sake, if not for others. After all, her shrink had said that being too clingy was her downfall. After the aforesaid shrink had peeled Penelope off him.  
  
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AN: sorry, I just had to put the life-lesson in. I think it shows something. And I may not have learned that lesson very well, but I at least can help others learn it. And sorry again to all the Oliver lovers. It seems that nobody can think of Oliver like that. OK. That's fine with me. I can. I know loads of people can't. But that's all right. And sorry this chapter was really short. Like I said, I had to fit the life- lesson in. And review me please. I need more. I think I'm starting to get addicted to reviews. Even if I only get a few a day. Seriously. You know the plant in the musical Little Shop of Horrors? Well, if you do, I have two words: feed me. Except I mean reviews, not human blood. Which should explain the whole plant thing to people who have no idea what I'm talking about. I think that section of the population is getting bigger everyday . 


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